...a few days later

I haven't written anything for a few days now. Megan came into town...YAY!! She's staying until Tuesday, wish it was longer! We've done a few things, mainly just hung out which has been great!
We ate at Foglight in Sparta, it's a great little cajun restaurant in the middle of nowhere. Love it! We had sushi at Maggie's favorite sushi spot in Cookeville. We drank Calfkiller beer (a local brewer who has WONDERFUL flavors!) We bought flip flops. We drove the "loop" home. We sat and held hands. We went to Ma and Pa's. We watched Oprah's Life Class Tour and ELLEN. So, all in all....we had a wonderful time!

Megan left yesterday....yes, I cried! So, this is what I have determined. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I'm angry. I really didn't think I cried a lot, but obviously I do.

I feel like I have so much to write about, but I'll save some for the coming days. One thing I wanted to talk about was the Life Class show we seen. To sum it up, we are suppose to have a grateful heart and mind. We are suppose to live in gratitude ALL day, every day! I know, when asked you automatically say 'I am grateful for everything'...'BUT'.....Come on, You know you do! You probably are thinking...well I am grateful! But, do you really LIVE it?! Do you really FEEL it every day?! Do you find the good in the bad, the happy in the sad? Most of us don't.

I will tell you that I am one to ALWAYS talk about speaking and thinking positive. I preach it, write it, SAY positive things out loud (even when no one is around). But guess what, I didn't FEEL it. I didn't automatically go to the positive all the time. I think I did more than average, but not all the time. UNTIL.....until that day.....that day when I thought my life was about over. That day when we thought we would lose Zech. That day when all I could do was go to my knees. The day I really didn't know what to do, what to say, what to ask for. That day that I was TRULY humbled before our Lord. That day I REALLY knew what I was thankful for. My husband, who held me up when I couldn't stand. My daughters who were there to SHOW me what I had always preached. My son!! My son that God gave me when it was the last thing on my mind, having another child. That night when I went to the chapel in the hospital to pray, all I could do was just keep thanking God for Zech. Thanking him for picking me to be his mommy.

With all that being said, I really feel a thankful heart all the time. Now, please know this doesn't mean I don't get sad, or mad. I do, but definitely NOT like I use to. Things that bothered me before, are just not important anymore. So, every day I am going to write down 5 things that I am thankful for. I will do it here, and on facebook. I would really encourage you to do the same...5 things...how hard is that? Come on....it won't take long!

1. My family
2. A new roof
3. Time I got to spend with Megan
4. My pool
5. The smell of honeysuckles

I am also thankful for you. For any and all who read about my family.